Needy Asian

We just checked in a guest 2 days ago that is really starting to get on our nerves. She's a young Japanese girl that always wears Hello Kitty pajamas and has really big Asian bangs. She barely speaks any English. I've said this before and I'll say it again: I'm not racist, I just have had many negative experiences with Asians, and this one really takes the cake. At first she wanted to be in a room with 1 bed. So, we checked her in. No problem. The next day, she decided she wanted a room with 2 beds even though she's traveling alone. So, we told her we could put her in room 204, but she quickly responded, "no 4... 4 bad number!" So, we found another room for her. This time it was 208. She then called me once she was all settled in her room to tell me she was missing a coffee maker. I asked her if she would like me to find one and she said, "no, I not use it anyway." Moments later, she called again, this time telling me that the microwave had a dent in the top. Wonderful. About an hour later, she called to inform me that there was no garbage can in the bathroom. I told her there is one in her room just on the other side of the wall. So, today, she came downstairs (wearing the exact same pajamas she has been wearing for the past 2 days) and asked if she could switch rooms so her head wouldn't be facing south. She said she gets headaches unless she sleeps with her head to the north. I wanted to tell that idiot to sleep with her head at the foot of the bed, but that would be unkind. So, I told her we would get one ready. I can't wait to see what she'll come up with next. If all goes well, I won't freak out on her by the end of her WEEK LONG STAY.

Turning Japa... I Mean, Korean

Photo Courtesy of Barbara Chung

I've tried on so many occasions to find reasons to not let Asians get on my nerves, but I feel like I'm simply making a futile attempt. They're good, kind people, but sometimes I feel like they just don't know what's going on. Today, some Asians checked out of the hotel, and the father politely asked me if they could eat their lunch in the lobby before departing. I thought they would pull out sandwiches and chips, but I sure was wrong! They went right to work pulling out what looked like french fried guppies, spoiled caviar, and seaweed. They then asked if they could use our kitchen to wash some fruit, and I obliged. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that they would be washing like 100 apples and a crate of cherries. In no time at all, our kitchen was full of Koreans in their assembly line fashion, churning out clean apples faster than you can say Hyundai. It looked like we had opened a make shift temporary sweat shop. They quickly cleared out, finished their lunch, and went on their way. But, before they left, they asked me if I wanted any of the leftovers. Kind, yes, but NO THANK YOU! I'll gladly eat my greasy heart attack inducing American food!

The Most Annoying Questions

On a daily basis, I get the same questions asked over and over. Here are a few of the ones that make my skin crawl (partly because they are asked so often, and partly because the answer is so obvious):

• Where is the milk for the cereal? (Duh... milk is stored in the FRIDGE right in front of you)
• Do you guys have a garbage in the lobby? (Right over there underneath the big sign that says "GARBAGE")
• Can you make sure the housekeepers don't disturb me today? (That's why we have DO NOT DISTURB signs in every room)
• Can I have an extra pillow? (Each room has a king size bed and FIVE pillows... are they making a freaking pillow fort?!)
• Did I forget my phone in my room? (How am I supposed to know?! If the housekeepers don't find it, you didn't lose it here; end of story!)
• Why is the waffle iron beeping? Does that mean it's cooking? (No, that means you're a complete idiot that can't follow directions. Flip the dang thing like it says, then the timer will start.)
• Is the pool cold? (That depends on how you define cold... why don't you jump in and tell me?!)
• Can I have a room on the ground level? (Our parking garage is on the ground level, not the rooms, but if you REALLY want to sleep in our garage I would gladly accommodate you.)
• When does so and so restaurant close? (Do you think that simply because I work here I have become a living, breathing Google?)

I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can think of right now. I'll be sure to update this list as the crazy questions are sure to keep on rolling.

The Hang-Out

Photo Courtesy of MichaelBmxking

I don't know why, but we seem to attract the scum of the earth. Literally. It seems like the scariest, dirtiest, shadiest people stay here. Sometimes I wonder, "what is it that draws them here?" Maybe it's the porn shop next door. I never really see people go over there from our hotel though, so that might not be it. There's heavy meth usage in this area, and I'm guessing about 1/2 of our guests fit into that demographic. Today a man checked out of the hotel and I noticed his drivers license said he was 32. He looked like he was in his 60s! He said he just got done living in Hawaii and Alaska. I asked him if he travelled for work and he said, "something like that." I always feel a little guilty when innocent looking young mothers or old people check out our hotel either by phone or actually dropping by and asking if I would consider our hotel to be in a nice area. I kind of beat around the bush and make our hotel sound great while avoided the actual vicinity. Truth be told, not a lot of action happens ON property, just about 3 feet OFF property!

This is Absolutely Absurd

God Bless the Old People!

Photo Courtesy of Ivan Mlinaric

We are all familiar with stereotypical senior citizen behavior. They're either extremely cute and friendly, or they're crusty and cranky. We often categorize them without letting them say a word. However, I had a humbling opportunity to have a conversation with the gentler side of our archaic friends. He was a World War II Veteran and was staying at the hotel to see family in the area. He told me about his 3 children, 7 grandchildren, and 3 great grandchildren with a look of contentment and pride about his face. In his 84 years, he had seen several wars, the development of new technologies, the deterioration of his body, and 64 years with his sweetheart wife. These are the same people that we tail on the road when they go too slow. These are the same people we roll our eyes at when they take too long at the check stand in the supermarket. But yet, in my conversation with this gentleman, I was reminded that he was once young as I am now. Without getting all preachy, it really struck me that the elderly truly are a fountain of knowledge and we too often take them for granted. Their stories need to be listened to, and their legacies remembered.

Where Did You Go on Your Honeymoon?

Great views, once-in-lifetime opportunities, and completely memorable are all attributes of a great vacation and/or honeymoon. So how about: space? It's too bad that only like 4 people on this planet can enjoy such an extreme vacation given the outrageous prices. We can all rest easy, however, knowing that it's in the price range of Lady GaGa, because that only means one thing: she will be outside of our atmosphere, even if for a brief moment. So even if it's something that may be out of our price range, it just might be a great answer to get rid of our planet's most annoying personalities for a couple of hours.

Housekeeping... You Want Mint for Pillow?

Photo Courtesy of cogdogblog

I respect housekeepers, I really do. They clean up the most disgusting rooms without even a grimace of displeasure. However, sometimes they're just lazy. Lately our guests have been complaining that rooms built for 4 people have only 1 towel, hairdryers are AWOL, hairs in the bathtub (what could those be from?), lack of coffee packets (what are we, Starbucks?), and the most frustrating... problems with the television and/or the remote control isn't anywhere to be found. Shouldn't those be concerns that are corrected while housekeepers are doing their job? We have plenty to do at the front desk (most of the time), and it boggles my mind how they can clean a room without a remote or hairdryer and consider it to be ready to sell. Surprise, surprise... guests like having their own towel to dry off after they shower! We're not in Sudan! So please, please, PLEASE housekeepers, give me a break!

Zip Lines

We did this while honeymooning in Puerto Vallarta and it was by one of the greatest highlights of our trip (among other things haha). I recommend it to anyone that is looking for something that is completely out of the ordinary. It's thrilling and exhilarating, yet safe and low impact.

The Moon of Honey

Rarely do I add in a truly personal touch here on Adventures in Hospitality, but when the occasion permits, I suppose I can make an exception. As you may have noticed my page hasn't been updated for a week, and that's because of a silly little thing called marriage. Yes, that's right, I'm now a married man. My sweetheart and I spent a wild week in Puerto Vallarta, taking in the sights, sounds, and yes, smells of Mexico. It was a beautiful time and I really have no complaints. Now that I'm back, I'll continue updating the site as promised. Keep reading!